Okay so I'm finally getting around to posting again. I spent the weekend battling stomach pain and lack of sleep cause I couldn't sleep but somehow I managed to wash my clothes, go to work (I worked just over 5 hrs on Sunday), shop for groceries and prepare the majority of the food I would need for the week. However, I did cook up some turkey burgers on Tues. which turned out fanastic. They are all gone but one little bit, which I will probably have as soon as I get home from work.

Anyway, this week has been busy. Things are finally getting wrapped up and slowing down. Which is nice but bad at the same time. I actually enjoy being busy. Makes the days go buy faster and makes eatting good easier as I have less time to think about all the food I really want to eat. I can't say that I'm really craving the crappy food, I just think I want it. I don't know it's hard to explain.

I got my new taebo tapes last week, so I've done them a couple of times. It is really hard. Mainly cause there is a 3 lb bar that you have to swing, hold and lift for the entire video. That gets difficult within the 30 min, 40 min, or 50 min time you are with Billy.

Well, I best be getting back to work. Duty calls.

blueberi posted at 3:35 PM

I had a good weekend. Friday went out with some friends, bought bowling shoes and bowling ball, played video game and beat two guys butts at it. Heehee. Funniest part I had no clued what I was doing, just randomly hitting buttons, yet somehow I still won most of the time. The night ended with me going to my ex's once again. This time I think it might actually be the last time I end up there. But we'll see. I don't know.

Sat. I helped Onyx and them move. My entire body is aching from it. You would think that will all the working out that I do, that it wouldn't be this bad, but damn I felt like I could barely move Sunday. So I actually skipped Taebo on Sunday, and just did my shopping and stuff I had to do. By bedtime, I couldn't wait to get off of my feet. So tired.

This morning still sore and I almost didn't taebo again, but I finally made myself. I think it might of helped a little bit, but I know this is going to take some time to feel normal again. Anyway, it's the start of a new week and that beginning of my two week cleansing. I'm going to go two weeks without sugar and carbs. It's going to be tough, but I think I can do it. I started yesterday. So we'll see if it does what it is suppose to do. Man I wish I would of had some cheese on Sat.

blueberi posted at 11:47 AM

So you know how, when someone is drunk the truth generally comes out and it comes flooding out. Well, Saturday my drunken night ending with me being dropped off at my ex's place. Which was needed for both of us, yet more confusing than ever. Which I knew it wouldn't be good but it was nice.

Anyway, I got there and he too was pretty smashed. And his sister was not in good mood. Apartment issues. I won't go into deals, but she wasn't happy. She wasn't looking forward to seeing anyone, but she let him let me come over cause she figured both of us need to get a little action. And of course, I can pretty much count on it if I want.

Anyway, before his sister fell asleep. We were all just sitting there talking. He looked at my hand and was like why is it like that it. What's wrong. I'm worried about you, you know I worry about you. I love you and all that.

Okay at this point he know he doesn't have to say he loves me to get anything from me which he should know from the fairly obvious txt I sent that said I wanted him. But he did say he loves me and he has a few times. Of course it only happens when he is drunk. But I really believe a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts. Unfortunately, his issues are keeping me at arms length. Close enough that he's sure I'll be around, but not close enough that he feels smothered and suffocated.

Now, I wish I could say that I could do the no strings attacted thing, but I can't. I was almost to the point where I gave up on him, but I really haven't. I apparently in my drunkeness, told him about getting some dude's phone number the night before and then I talked and cried about a guy friend I meet recently who I thought was cute, but was with some other girl and then was suprised to see me. I feel bad for that cause these guys really mean nothing to me and there I was talking about it like it just something I tell him. But it was actually the first time I cried when he said it was okay to cry. He usually tells me not to cry. This time was different. *sigh* I just don't know.

So now, I wonder when and if I get to go back to see him again. Next time I don't plan on being so far gone and it will be planned. Well, at least planned on my part cause I was so not prepared to go over there that night. I hadn't shaved for two days. I hadn't showered since early that morning and I was stinky from bars. I just kind of felt gross, but that didn't really matter, so much.

blueberi posted at 2:55 PM

To answer your comment, Onyx, no I've not not updating on purpose. I just haven't had a chance yet. Monday and Tues. were busy at work and full of work drama and such. Wed the internet and phones were all down, so I really truly couldn't do anything. I spent the day watching Top Chef marathon which I didn't get to finish cause 5pm actually did roll around.

So anyway, I don't have much to say Sat. was fun and it ended well as good as a drunking night can end at an ex's apartment. Found out that my friend's there were going through some issues as well, so my unexpected visit was somewhat needed.

Yesterday, I got home and found my Pinky and the Brain DVD's mom had been promising as a Christmas present. Then I walked to the office to get my unidentified package and pay rent. The packaged was from my cousin and his wife and to my suprise, they had bought me a Coach purse. I just thought oh my gosh they shouldn't of spent so much money on me. It was so nice of them. I've never even stepped foot in the Coach store, knowing that nothing in there was in my price range. So anyway, I guess I'll be going into that store soon. As they gave me the receipt to exchange. I figure, I might as well go look and see if there is something I like more, cause if I'm going to have an expensive purse, it might as well be one I will use a lot.

Anyway, not sure when I'm going to do this. I was thinking tonight, but then I don't know. It could wait until Sunday. We'll see.

blueberi posted at 11:38 AM