I am proud to announce the change that has taken place with my blog. I coded this here blog all by myself mainly using CSS. Man, I love CSS. The whole page contains only one image which I created in illustrator and inspired by a Beatles picture. For now the name of my blog remains the same. I want to change the name, but I don't know what I want it to say yet.

I have two more web projects in mind. I want to create a website for my aunt photography and Onyx's husband wanted some help with his, but he may not need my help. Anyway, I need to do some research to start on my aunt's project and get some of her photography. I have a could of ideas for it already. Once it is complete I will put a link on her to here site as well as put a link to if from my portfolio site.

So I a little of topic, but today I found out that I hit my 10% weight loss mark at Weight Watchers. It was pretty cool. I haven't been tracking very well lately, but it was definitely an incentive to keep going. I know I'll feel a lot better about myself when I look different. I'm already starting to, but I must take baby steps. First, I need to be more confident about myself and my abilities. I know I always tend to sell myself short cause I don't want to seem like a know it all and full of myself.

Part of my problems stems from my past rejections and the fact that I've had to question myself. Do I really want to do this? Am I good at this? Why do I want to do this? Man, this is just to hard I'm gonna give up. Well, I'm not gonna give up. Yeah I want to do this. I love graphic design. It brings together logic and creativity. I am good at this. I'm not the best, but damn it there is a hell of a lot worst out there.

At least my work is good and I want to do this because I love to see something I do affect people. I want what I do to be seen by people. I know that my name isn't going to printed on the designs I do, but I know that there will be someone out there somewhere seeing what I did. It may touch one person, another my just walk by or throw it away. May there will be some kid like me who rips out ads from magazines, who collects flyers, brochures and buys cds sometimes just for the cool cover.

Sometimes I think that maybe all I am is just some hick from Montana and that's all I'm suppose to be. Maybe I just trying to live a fantasy life in the city and I'll never be able to obtain the life I want. I know I have a high standard of living I want to achieve. I modern home, decorated well and colorful, but if I get it will I be happy. Will I still be alone? If I get this life will I wish I that I was back where I was. I'm afraid of becoming a lonely, trendy person who has become wrapped up in style and looking good.

Cause I love clothes, my restaurants and stuff, but I know in the end what really matters it the good stuff that happened. My family and the friends I've had and the times we shared. And I have definitely had some great friends. I can honestly say that most of my friends would do anything for me. If I need them they are there for me when I'm broke, when I'm puking, when I'm sad, when I'm happy. I know they are there. And I just want ya'll to know that I'll be there too. Nothing makes me happier than helping someone else.

blueberi posted at 12:21 AM