I must say that today was a pretty productive day. I got a lot accomplished. My day started around 9:30. I made myself get up earlier than usual. I called the loan people and told them I was broke. Now I don't have to pay for a year. I lined up two interviews for tomorrow and two for friday. I cooked dinner, bought some good paper for resumes, paid my car payment, washed my clothes, did the dishes, helped a friend with her resume, and I think that is everything. I'm exhausted.

So I have to get up early in the morning to hit my first interview. I should have time to relax between the two. After the second interview, I'm scheduled to go to the school and show the class my portfolio. That should be cool. All in all this week is going to be busy. I'm glad. I don't have anything scheduled for Thursday, but that could change. I'm thinking I might go to a movie.

Oh yeah, I also called on of the places I applied to to see what was happening with. I didn't find out much but they might still be considering me. Well, I should probably hit the hay. I need to get my beauty rest. Good night all.

blueberi posted at 10:48 PM

So it has become apparent to me that I come off as lazy and unmotivated. I can see the lazy part. I tend not to do very much. But I have never been called unmotivated before. So why do people seem to think this about me right now.

Well, I guess it could be that I still haven't got a job and that I postpone doing things because I haven't had time or because I am not sure how to do things. I mean I am a 23 year old with no direction. My parents have never had to motivate me to do anything, because I have always done what I wanted when I wanted to. Everything I needed to do I've done. Now that I'm out of school, I'm trying my best to get a job. I don't know what else to do. I mean I am in the process of gathering materials to send out to companies. I have yet to gather it all. That reminds me I must call me mom about character reference.

Okay, so anyway, went it comes to doing things other than work or school, I may not be motivated. I don't know. I just wish there was an easier way to get a job. Losing weight is suppose to be a tough thing, but it seems to be easier than getting a job. Well, I think I'm gonna go read now. I think my new roommates my be able to hear me type.

blueberi posted at 10:55 PM

blueberi posted at 3:20 PM

Well, today is the day that I'm going to be moving. I so far not much has been accomplished, but I guess we have all day and it is okay if we don't get to it until tomorrow. Most of my stuff is already moved, but I'm gonna have to rent a truck to get the big stuff over here.

I don't have much to write today. I haven't done much but move. I thought I had an interview yesterday, but he guy never called to tell me where to meet him. I was a bit bummed out about that, so I did nothing yesterday. I just stayed at home in my empty apartment waiting for Monk to come on. I hate that Monk is on so late. 11 pm is too late when there isn't much else on.

Anyway, I decide that for exercise I'm either going to get on of those dance dance things from my playstation or I 'm going to get the exercise game for it. The exercise game has a camera that watches you and tells you if you are doing it right or something like that. I can do this now because I don't live above anyone anymore. Yippie! No more screaming neighbors and stuff.

So I guess I'm gonna go. I don't have much else to write. You know I really miss the old ninetendo. I loved the racing game where you run on the game pad and jump hurdles and stuff. That was good fun. I wish I still had that. Laters.

blueberi posted at 12:54 PM

I figured I better post a comment before I don't have internet at my apartment anymore. My roommate is moving out today and is taking the modem with her. I don't really mind cause I can go over to my new home, Onyx's, there I can get on the internet and play all day.

Anyway, I hope that my roommate gives me some money for the cable bill that will be coming in Feb. I wrote her a note asking for some, but who knows. I also asked for $40 for the cable modem even though I paid like $90 for the damn thing. She said she would buy it for $20, so I said okay. But damn, I'm giving here a ton of stuff.

So I have a good portion of my stuff moved out. I can't believe how much junk I have. And Clothes oh my god I have a ton of clothes. A good portion of my clothes I should get rid of. Pretty soon none of my pants are going to fit me. That's a good thing but it is bad because I don't want to buy new clothes. I can't afford them yet.

So last night I saw Tristan and Isolde. It was pretty good and the guy playing Tristan was hot. He is the actor that played Superman's best friend. I don't know the guy's name, but he was hot in this movie. The movie ended sadly, but it was good.

Yesterday, I cleaned up dog poo for the first time in my life. I went to drop off some of my stuff at Onyx's and there all over by the kitchen door was dog poo. It was so stinky. I had to clean it up. Then I tryed to air it out a bit. Needless to say the dogs when outside the second I opened the door. I can't imagine that they needed to poo more, but they probably didn't even like the smell of the poo.

Well, I guess that's all for now. Laters.

blueberi posted at 8:49 AM

I didn't mean to not write for so long, but I am just so busy doing nothing I can't seem to get on here. Yesterday, I went to eat lunch with a friend and walk around the Mills in Tempe, so I didn't get home 'til about 5. Then I talked to my roommate about her moving and me moving, so it seems as though everything is going to run smoothly. Then I went to the post office and mail a few shirts to my sister.

After that I had to go to walmart and get some boxes and tape. I also picked up some salad for dinner and a cd visor for my car. I had to get salad cause I had almost no points left for the day cause I decided to have a diet coke float with cherry flavoring. According to my calculations the float was somewhere 'tween 4 - 8 pts. But that means nothing to you people that haven't been intitiated into the Weight Watchers cult.

I had to call a friend and see how her b-day was. I guess her, her boyfriend and her brother went out to eat. They didn't do much, but she got the present I sent, so that is good. We got to talking about a book I just read, "Superstud or how I became a 24 year old virgin" by Paul Feig. Let me start by saying, this book is definitely descriptive and it is mostly about his teen years. I'm sure you can imagine what I'm talking about. Anyway, I was like if this guy can right about this stuff then I can right about my life and just how clueless I am.

I have also read books by Laurie Nortoro and she writes about dumb stuff she does and things like that. Well, I have definitely done some dumb things that are probably on the same dumb level. So that's it, I've decided I'm gonna write a book of short dumb stories and I have plenty of them. I'm gonna make a list of funny dumb things I've done and in 5 years I'll be famous for it.

Now back to reality. I've got to go talk to a teacher and get to moving some stuff. Laters.

blueberi posted at 12:28 PM

I can't think of anything to write today, but i needed to update. I might have secured an interview. I'm gonna practice my selling myself skills. I want then to want me. I just need to get in there to prove myself.

Just watched The Brothers Grimm. It was good. But I also love Heath Ledger and Matt Damon. That reminds me I saw this show on MTV called "My Own". On this show, a person has people try to become the star that want. In one show the girl wanted Her Own Snoop Dog and on another episode a guy want His Own Alicia Keys. So I got to thinking who would I want my own of.

Well, there is always Keith Urban, but then there is also Ryan Reynolds, Heath Ledger, Zach Braff. I could go on and on, but I don't know. I just don't get how you can pick just one. I guess I'd go for My Own Keith Urban, but I need funny too, so he would need to be like Ryan as well.

I'm gonna go ponder this some more. I'll talk to ya'll laters.

blueberi posted at 9:54 PM

Okay, so I finally figured out how the seasons work down here. In Montana the seasons going something like Winter, Spring, Summer which is actually Construction, and Fall. Here in Arizona, Winter is Construction, Spring is Summer, Summer is Hell, and Fall is Summer again. I don't know how many times a day I feel like deja veu has set in because of all the orange and white striped cones and sides say lanes are closed. I'm so glad I don't have to be anywhere at any specific time cause I would mostly likely hit one of these construction areas. Yeah I have lived here just over 2 years and I just figured out how things work here. I mean it was really hard to tell if there really was an seasons.

The golden globes just got over. Brokeback Mountain cleaned up. It won - Best motion picture - drama, Best director - motion picture, Best screenplay - motion picture, Best original song - motion picture. I still have yet to see this movie, but I thought it would be good. I mean Heath Ledger is in it.

Steve Carell won for Best Performance by an Actress In A Television Series - Musical Or Comedy. This obviously was his performances in The Office. Man, he is so funny. I love that show. I can't believe I missed it last week. That's it I'm never going anywhere on Thursdays. I must watch The Office.

Anyway, I probably just applied for a dozen jobs. Probably won't hear back from any of them for months. I went on a interview today the only one since I got back. It was extremely short. Probably only twenty minutes. They might call me back in for a practical test. They will probably make me put together an ad in under 30 minutes. No big deal. They didn't like that all my references where from the school. I should of mentioned that I graduated with a 3.8. Anyway, the job is only like a part time job, but it will be better than nothing.

I'm seriously thinking about sending my picture and info to a company wanting to make a independent film. The story sounds good and it sounds like they need lots of people. Of course the film is being shot in washington. The problem with this idea is I have no acting experience. I just think that maybe I'm the perfect look for one of the parts. Okay, so maybe I just think that it would be like totally awesome. A girl can dream can't she. The story is just so me.

So here is the story -
"This is a movie that is the honest exploration into our first crush, our first kiss and our first love. The little moments in life that we will remember forever more, those that make a bigger impact on us, and help shape us for the future. As Calliope, the main character of the film, says: “He doesn’t know… that, in my fragile adolescent state… he’ll end up becoming the template for every romantic inclination that I have for the rest of my life.” (Picture a 1970’s Anne of Green Gables) We are such a fast pasted society that we often forget about those little moments in the beginnings of a relationship. Those are often more important than we realize. While not a message film, this funny and wrenching character study carries with it an experience that we have all encountered and that seems to live with us forever." - craigslist post.

blueberi posted at 9:55 PM

The other day when I was at the Arizona Mills one of those kids trying to see magazines tried to get me to buy. Let me tell you this. Everytime a guy is doing this he tries to hit on me. They always say you can come with me on my trip. So of course I act like a bitch, cause I don't buy this and I can't buy any magazines. The one time I bought some I never got the damn magazine. Anyway, this guy was like you can get something for you boyfriend or something. I was like no.

Then he said that I must be in a serious relationship or just broke up from one. Ha ha. What that hell makes you think that? Is is the fact that I'm make get the hell away from me faces or what? I don't know, but I honestly hate these people. Hell they are good talkers. I wish I was that good, but just cause I'm in a damn mall does not me I have money. I was there to buy some damn proactiv, so what if I ended up buy the coffee mug from the disney store I've been wanted for a month.

I told him I didn't have money. He was like then why are you at the mall. I said me being at the mall and having no money is why I have no money. In other words I have less than no money, but actually I could of probably bought a magazine, but you never get the damn things.

So all in all it was a waste of his time and mine. At one point he started rambling of that he was a cancer and 23 and stuff and I was like you've got to be kidding me. Just cause I said there was no boyfriend to buy a magazine for doesn't mean I want you. I don't want a damn boyfriend that tries to sell magazines that no one will actually get. You dude are a sucker for doing that job and I would be a sucker do buy. Fortunately as I was telling him I was broke my dad called me. It is at moments like that which make me love cell phones.

blueberi posted at 12:41 PM

So my newest addiction, I would have to say is fountain drinks from QuikTrip. This week I havd made two special trips just to get 32 oz. of delicious soda (pop for those of you up north). Why is there fountain soda better than anyone elses? Well, this is because they have vanilla or cherry flavoring for your drink plus there is like four different diet sodas to choose from. It is the choices. They never end.

Anyway this really isn't an new addiction, but it has been added to the long list of new addictions which includes skinny cow ice cream sandwiches, chicken lettuce wraps from Pei Wei, cookies I learned to make from weight watchers, asian chicken wrap from Under Wraps. This stuff is addicting.

So today I fullfilled my QT need as well as my Under Wraps urge. While I was getting my asian chicken wrap, I mentioned I was looking for work. The guy there asked if I could redo his menu for him. So I'll make a little bit from doing that. Plus there this could lead to other work for him or maybe he has some friends who need a designer. Anyway, It will be cool.

I applied for a few more jobs. Hopefully I'll hear from someone soon. I did get a call to day from one job I applied for last week. She just asked me a few questions and said that someone else will contact me. So I don't know, but I'm sure I'll find something eventually. Well, I'm gonna go eat a ice cream sandwich. Oh yeah, I've pretty much quit looking at the price of food. Food that is healthy is ridiculously over priced, but I need it so I can't not pay for it.

blueberi posted at 10:07 PM

So there is a reason that in Phoenix you are suppose to get fined if you don't pick up after your pets. I'm sure you are wondering why. I mean really doesn't dog poo just magically disapear. No it doesn't.

First of all let me just say that I like to walk to go get my mail. The mailboxes are by the office of my apt. complex and I leave at the other end of the complex, so it's a nice little stroll. Anyway, I like to take the most direct path to the office that I can, so I tend to walk on the rocks between two of the buildings. It is in this area that I notice that the only thing that occurs there is dogs pooing.

I like to refer to this area poo alley. I'm am not kidding about this. It is a wonder to me how in this one place all the dog poo has collected. For some reason, I think people are forcing their dogs to go there and they just leave it like it is a rock or something. Well, I for a while I was just paying attending carefully to where I was walking as to not step in any of the poo. But now there is so much, it is like jumping from stone to stone or like trying not to step on cracks. It is incredibly difficult to walk around all the poo.

Now I've taking up going around the rockway through the hallway of the building. It really isn't much of a detour, but I am stumped by the poo alley. I just don't understand. In a place where you could be fined $500 for not picking up after you dog, why is there this problem. If it was someone's personal yard you would understand. That is there land they can do what they want. This is public land for the most part. There are numberous people living here. What the hell? If you get a pet you have a reasonibliity to take care of it and what it does.

blueberi posted at 11:36 PM

which invader zim character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

blueberi posted at 2:38 PM

So today I took some of the stuff I don't want to Bookman's. They didn't take much of my stuff, but I got a $14 store credit, so I might by a book or two. I'm sure I'll find something there to spend it on. Then I took the left over stuff to a thrift store and donated it to their cause. I've never really understood how that works. You drive up and drop off the stuff in a pile of crap outsid the store. I can't image having to go through all the stuff. That would truly be a horrible job, but you would find the good stuff before anyone else had a chance.

I'm not sure what else I'm gonna do today. I was gonna go to the school today, but I don't really feel like it. I also thought about going to get a wrap at Under Wraps, but I'm kind of lazy and I just gave my cash away to some dude who said he need gas. I know he probably didn't really need it, but I felt generous today will all the donating and stuff. I guess you could say the guy got lucky cause it has been a good day. It felt good to get rid of some stuff. You should all see how much stuff I through out yesterday.

I spent almost all of sunday, sorting stuff and tossing it out. Now I have my stuff narrowed down into what I'm keeping. I just need to decide what I'm gonna do with it all. I guess I might be starting to freelance some. It sounds like I might have a few website jobs. The should bring some money. Maybe, I can do them and travel a bit. I can put my stuff in a storage unit or something. Well at least the stuff I don't need.

Some of the places I'd like to go are LA - a cousin lives around there somewhere, San Fransicso- my cousin and his wife recently moved to the area from Phoenix, Oregon - visit aunt and uncle and hit Portland, Nashville - music why else, Albuquerque - visit another aunt and cousins, Seattle area - tons of family around there, New York City - always wanted to go, but afraid to go especially alone, and pretty much anywhere else. I'd love to go to Bozeman for a while to. I miss all my friends there and the whole college life I got taken away from me when I moved down here.

blueberi posted at 2:16 PM

Here is a couple of good quotes

"I am not afraid . . . . I was born to do this." - Joan of Arc

"Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking" - Albert Einstien

And here is a fortune I got from a cookie once upon a time

"Patience is the best remedy for every trouble" - I know it is a generic fortune, well it is really just a statement, but I must learn this. I know at times I lack patience. I like to know that answers know and I am annoyed when I don't know, but time will tell.

blueberi posted at 12:58 AM

I am proud to announce the change that has taken place with my blog. I coded this here blog all by myself mainly using CSS. Man, I love CSS. The whole page contains only one image which I created in illustrator and inspired by a Beatles picture. For now the name of my blog remains the same. I want to change the name, but I don't know what I want it to say yet.

I have two more web projects in mind. I want to create a website for my aunt photography and Onyx's husband wanted some help with his, but he may not need my help. Anyway, I need to do some research to start on my aunt's project and get some of her photography. I have a could of ideas for it already. Once it is complete I will put a link on her to here site as well as put a link to if from my portfolio site.

So I a little of topic, but today I found out that I hit my 10% weight loss mark at Weight Watchers. It was pretty cool. I haven't been tracking very well lately, but it was definitely an incentive to keep going. I know I'll feel a lot better about myself when I look different. I'm already starting to, but I must take baby steps. First, I need to be more confident about myself and my abilities. I know I always tend to sell myself short cause I don't want to seem like a know it all and full of myself.

Part of my problems stems from my past rejections and the fact that I've had to question myself. Do I really want to do this? Am I good at this? Why do I want to do this? Man, this is just to hard I'm gonna give up. Well, I'm not gonna give up. Yeah I want to do this. I love graphic design. It brings together logic and creativity. I am good at this. I'm not the best, but damn it there is a hell of a lot worst out there.

At least my work is good and I want to do this because I love to see something I do affect people. I want what I do to be seen by people. I know that my name isn't going to printed on the designs I do, but I know that there will be someone out there somewhere seeing what I did. It may touch one person, another my just walk by or throw it away. May there will be some kid like me who rips out ads from magazines, who collects flyers, brochures and buys cds sometimes just for the cool cover.

Sometimes I think that maybe all I am is just some hick from Montana and that's all I'm suppose to be. Maybe I just trying to live a fantasy life in the city and I'll never be able to obtain the life I want. I know I have a high standard of living I want to achieve. I modern home, decorated well and colorful, but if I get it will I be happy. Will I still be alone? If I get this life will I wish I that I was back where I was. I'm afraid of becoming a lonely, trendy person who has become wrapped up in style and looking good.

Cause I love clothes, my restaurants and stuff, but I know in the end what really matters it the good stuff that happened. My family and the friends I've had and the times we shared. And I have definitely had some great friends. I can honestly say that most of my friends would do anything for me. If I need them they are there for me when I'm broke, when I'm puking, when I'm sad, when I'm happy. I know they are there. And I just want ya'll to know that I'll be there too. Nothing makes me happier than helping someone else.

blueberi posted at 12:21 AM

So today, I applied for numerous jobs. Hopefully something comes out of my efforts today, but I won't stop looking. One good thing that happened today is that I found the fourth set of the M&M star wars action figures. I now have the complete collection and hopefully someday they will be worth some money. I bought some food today, so I now have something to eat and I have yet to eat out today with is good although I spent way more money buying groceries then I would of eating at a restuarant.

So today I thought I had a bite in the job searching. I email my resume off to a company and got an email back asking be to call for an interview. I was like awesome, so I called and turns out the job isn't a graphic design job. Bummer, back to were I was. Oh well, althought it would of been cool cause it was in the Chicago area. But I must not dwell on this and look towards the future. The Future of NOthing.

Okay so I have a bad attitude lately and I'm not good company to be around. I'm sitting around feeling bad for myself and it sucks. I hate feeling this way. This is what happens when I don't have enough to do. I think to much and when that happens my pessimistic side kicks in.

I really have not reason to feel bad, but I do. I should be happy I'm not sick and stuff. I talked to one of my friends from back home. She is in the hospital for blood clots and she will need to be on bed rest at the hospital for a week. Then she is going to have to take it easy until her baby is born so she won't cause any harm. I wish I was home so I could visit her. I didn't get a chance to see her when I was there.

Okay, well I guess I'm going to find something to eat for dinner. Talk to ya'll laters. Oh yeah and someday I'm going to update the look of this here blog, but I'm on vacation (well a mental vacation).

blueberi posted at 5:59 PM

New years eve was ridiculous. I've never got so sick before. Anyway, I'm back in Phoenix - Job Hunting. Walked to the school today to see about jobs and the possibility of auditing some classes. So turns out that you need to be out of school for six months and not be able to get a job with the skills you obtained in your particular program. I guess I would be taking any classes without paying.

Well, that's about all I have. Since I don't have much to do I'm going to be updating the look of my blog. This time I'll be starting from scratch. I think once it is done it will be wonderful. That's it for me today unless I come up with something entertaining or profound to write. Laters.

blueberi posted at 1:10 PM