Well, I guess that I have now figured out how I can post pictures on here. Amazing what someone can learn on there own by trial and error.

So far I have found out that the best internet browser to view my blog in is Netscape. My blog is a little different in each browser. That makes me sad. I have to use two different browsers to use my blog. If I want to read the comments ya'll make I have to use explorer or netscape, but I normally use Safari, which of course it is a mac thing. Anyway the comments use to work in Safari, until I started change my blog template a lot.

Anyway, I'm beginning to think that I live like an old married person without the husband. My life is really quite dull, but I like being at home. I don't know how I will ever meet anyone living the way I do. If by some off chance I meet a guy, I don't have anything to talk about because well I don't do anything. I can only talk to people that I know like something I like. I do know for a fact I don't want to be an old lady living alone with a house full of stuff.

So why I'm I so worried all of a sudden about being an old lady. Because I feel like an old lady. I don't feel like I'm 21. I don't live like I'm 21. I don't think I even know what it is to be young. I get annoyed because I hear people having fun and I'm just sitting there watching tv or listening to music or on the internet. Yeah I love doing that stuff, but there has to be more than this. I remember being a kid and I enjoyed being the center of attention, so maybe that is my problem. I'm not the center of attention anywhere.

Another thing is that I think people get tried of talking to me cause all I talk about is me. Well, that is all I know. Please people enlighten me tell me a story or something. I don't have to do all the talking really. I'll listen.

Maybe my growing up so fast has something to do with the youngest child syndrome. Not only was I the youngest in my family, but I also was the youngest of all my cousins on both sides of my family. I think that I'm trying to catch up to them, which is impossible, but for some reason I think that is what I'm trying to do. I've watched everyone make their mistakes and I've learned from them what not to do. This has really limited what I can do.

I'm afraid of making a mistake and I make sure not to be in a situation where I might get hurt. I think that maybe I need to get hurt a little. I need to take some chances, but I don't know where to begin. It's not like I can just decide to be a different person. Or can I?

Okay, I'm sorry I've gone into being my own psycharist and half of this probably makes no sense.

blueberi posted at 11:42 AM